Monday, March 19, 2012

People Say the Darndest Things.

Still out there, my frinternets? I'm still here, hanging out, growing a person. This week, I'm going to try for some posts with content. Maybe even a few recipe recommendations. Novel, right? 

But, not today. Today I'm just going to tell you about the things people say to you when you are pregnant. I'm not talking about the sweet things, because there are plenty of those - congratulations, due date inquiries, boy or girl questions, and that's to say nothing of the smiles and doors held open and general niceness I have encountered since I started looking pregnant to the naked eye.

I'm talking about the lovely, unsolicited comments people make when your belly starts to look like this:

34.5 weeks. Doctor says belly is measuring 2 weeks ahead, so I can't wait to see what I look like at 40 weeks...

In the last seven days, I haven't gone anywhere without at least two people commenting on how I am about to pop (yes, yes I am, in five more weeks, thankyouverymuch) or asking me if I'm having twins (nope, quadruplets) or telling that I'm huge (really? I didn't notice my size when I was deciding which of the two shirts that still cover my belly I should wear today.).

But, cliche comments aside, I've gotten some real gems over the last three weeks. These are my favorites:
  • While waiting at the hospital to pre-admit for delivery last week, I was sitting in my chair, minding my own business, eating the ice from my Chick-fil-a lemonade. Another patient walked in and, after making the never-before-heard comments about how I was about to pop and was I having twins, she announced to the waiting room, "That girl has no business chewing on that ice like that - lowers your iron and gives you the diabetes." Ah, yes, the oft-forgotten correlation between high levels of sugar in the blood and consuming frozen water. Thank you for the reminder, Doctor. You are a doctor, right? That's why you get to wear your slippers to the hospital?
  • On my last trip to Savannah, I stopped at a gas station for a drink. While I was checking out, the cashier was asking me all about my pregnancy, and my due date, and the sex of the baby. She then informed me that her sister was also having a girl. I asked when she was due. She said, "Oh, she's due April 26th, too. But she's skinny, so she is way smaller than you." Awesome.
On that note, happy Monday to you. I hope someone says something to you in public that makes you laugh out loud. At least I haven't had a stranger try to touch my belly yet...